I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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