If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
