im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
