just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
