we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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