had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
