I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
