I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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