Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
