Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
