The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
