Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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