My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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