i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
