Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
