Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
