haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
