He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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