Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
