I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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