proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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