Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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