Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
