just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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