oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
