you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
