Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
