You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
