how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
