and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize