You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
