Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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