Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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