Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
