She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
