Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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