I am puke
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I understand Curling. That high.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
