My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
