I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
