is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I believe in your delicious
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
