is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
