My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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