I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
