I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
