It's Friday. Sex?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How external is "for external use only"?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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