What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
