I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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