mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
only if we run a train.
done.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
