i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
