I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
