Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
