just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize