forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
