time to smoke my breakfast
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
wow bdsm is so cute
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
