There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize