I wanna passion pit in your ass
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
