I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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