He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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