you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
