A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
