wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
