How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i think my cat just said my name.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
