I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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